Write Your Story

Part One:

Do you keep a diary? I’ve been writing since I was about eight. I’ve written all kinds of things, it’s just something I’ve always done. If I couldn’t have pen and paper or a computer I think a part of me would be missing. It would be similar to having my hand cut off. This is just something I do, it's a part of who I am.

As technology has grown, my writing is not so much hand written, yet I still find myself purchasing that new notebook or journal. What is wrong with me?

There is just something about the way it feels in my hands, the smell of the paper…even the feel of the paper. I love new pens and pencils too and they have to be the right ones! They have to ‘feel’ right. I’m very picky about those things. I have an overabundance of these items. Just the other day both my children were telling me “You don’t need it” when I saw a pretty notebook. Because of my kids it remained at Walmart. 

I ‘m not sure too many people understand this part of me and that’s okay. It makes me quirky, I guess. Since technology has evolved and I have a computer, most of my notebooks or journals are used for actual 'note-taking'. Business notes, Bible study notes, Book notes (I read a lot) and any other kind of note I might need to write. If the notebook has really pretty paper, sometimes I even use it for handwritten letters...

And there lays a problem. I cannot tell you how many letters I've written that have never been mailed. Every time we have moved, I have found a cards or  letters I meant to mail. Sometimes, I mail them and pray I said something good to the recipient because I haven't got a clue. I figure I wrote it for a reason and because I've a horrid memory it didn't get mailed or maybe...just maybe, God didn't want me to mail it yet. Maybe whatever it is I told them arrived at just the right time...there's a thought uh?

What this all comes down to is, I've been writing my story for years. Once in a while I share snippets of it with someone whom I feel needs to hear a certain part. Who I feel I can counsel, help and be a light for Jesus in their dark moment. 

I don't know if what I say helps or not, but once upon a time my Grandpa (the greatest man that ever lived) found a letter I'd forgotten to mail to a dying woman. I have no idea what I said or even where that letter ended up. She had passed on by the time Grandpa found the letter, but he praised and praised me for writing it. 

And then, even though I think he was thankful he got to read it, he was disappointed that the recipient hadn't received it. He told me how touching he thought the letter to be and how it would have been a blessing to her. He was sad that she didn't get to read it. I felt bad for forgetting to mail it.

My goal in life has been to be that bit of light to another in their time of need. It's not an easy goal. It's an exhausting goal and most the time like my forgotten letters - I fall short. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I'm rather an introvert. I'm happy to stay home in my own little world most days. 

What I've learned is there are other ways to reach out to people. Technology sure helps with that, but still it is difficult to find the right person. The person God wants you to connect with and the people that will build your tribe. What do I mean by that? I don't remember who said it or where I saw it this week, but it went something like this: 

"Do you ever see someone on Facebook, read their posts and think they are your BFF and don't even know it!" 

Like they belong in your tribe and you belong in their's! You just connect! You just "get" each other. Together you're amazing!You succeed. You win. You laugh. You share. You grow. Why is that? I believe the answer is that if you... 

 I believe this to be absolutely true. Think about it. Who is that one person that just energizes you anytime you are around them? You can't help but feel excited and energized. Fun is about to be had! Right? 

The wrong people dim your light, they exhaust you, make you feel less than you are and it's a horrible balance beam to walk. One side they are kind of your friend and the other side they're a bloody nightmare! You know?

Again, the right people energize you, they believe in you and support you. It's like they are the water and you the wilting plant. God sends them along at just the right moment to pull you out of that dark pit. Be aware of who you surround yourself with...

...because this too, is true! I do not have a potty mouth. I do have a few friends that do. I want to break them of that habit, yet if I spend enough time around them I notice myself saying words I normally do not use. I try to avoid that, which means avoiding that friend. I try to avoid T.V. shows or movies for the same reason. A bad habit can be broken but it is so easy to slip and fall back into.

During my six years in England I found myself surrounded by gym rats, fitness junkies and health freaks. Guess what? I became one! I drank the kool-aid, so to speak. They rubbed off on me and I'm so thankful they did. I learned so much about myself because of them. They helped me shine brighter!

The problem we run into in today's world is, well several things. 

• nobody has time for anyone
• people are lazy
• they have excuses fifteen miles long
• they don't prioritize
• they drift through life
• they've been hurt before
• doubt
• they're afraid
• scared to trust
• feel safer at home

That list can go on and on, just like the reasons as to why very few people have seen or read many of my writings. What am I writing them for? What purpose are they serving if forgotten in drawer? Who are the touching, uplifting, encouraging, supporting or helping? 

I have a story to tell, everybody does, but writing it is scary. Writing it is hard. It is an emotional journey with an ending and destination unknown. Fear can strangle it before pen ever touches paper and forcing fingertips to sit silently upon the keys...

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Constant Consistency Challenges

I'm gonna call it the CCC. I struggle with it CONSTANTLY! The last post I made was on the 8th and it was short and sweet. I never returned, even though I said I would in 5 minutes. My goal is to post every other day except Sunday's and so far it is still a serious CHALLENGE for me. Today, (the day I'm writing this is January 16th), I aim to do better regularly and honestly I think that's all we can do, every day. Life is going to knock you down time and time again. It's up to you whether or not you get back up. 

My Mom and I were recently discussing health and exercise. She said something to me that I'd like to share. 

"The one thing I notice about most fitness post though is they seem to think everybody is on the same page, and the same level and we're not. We're all different ages, weights and have different health issues. There are some things that I physically would harm myself if I did, that you or someone even healthier or with less weight or younger could do with no problem. That's not to say that someday I may be able to do some of those things or at least do a moderation of some of those things, but people seem to want to push you to do things that will hurt you."

"You can do this! They say. You got this! They say. But the truth is I can't physically do some of that unless I want to be hurt. That can be very discouraging and make you not want to read the post."

What do you think about that?

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about that lately and I’ve a few things to say about it. I hope you will hear me out. She is right; to an extent. We are all at different levels, ages, weights, and struggling with different health issues. I am a BeachBody Coach and it is my goal to HELP you. I do not in any way ever wish to hurt you; however, I am guilty of saying:

“You can do this!” or “You got this!”   

I do not say this as a “market strategy”. I say this because I truly believe it. I’m not going to tell you that you “can’t”. I am sorry, I do not believe in that word. Once you start telling yourself you cannot do A, B, or C before long you’ll find yourself unable to do D, E, or F! 

It is a downward spiral that I will not encourage – ever.

I believe in you no matter your age, weight or health issues. You may not believe in yourself, but that does not mean that I cannot believe in you. It does not mean that I won’t push you to reach a little higher or stretch a little further. You are capable of far more than you will ever know and I can say that to you NOT because I’m a Beachbody Coach BUT because I’ve lived it. I’ve experienced what it’s like to learn and see just what my body is capable of. The ONLY way to experience this and learn it is to simply TRY.

When I ran my first marathon in 2013, I struggled from mile 19 all the way to 26. I started having cramps in my hamstring at mile 19, by mile 22 I was barely moving. I was hurt. I was in a lot of pain. I’d hit that dreaded wall runners talk about and I did not know how to get over it. I was crying – something I rarely admit to doing. I was texting my best friend Jenny, my Mom and my Husband. The struggle was real! I broke down and told my husband, 

“I can’t”. He said the best thing anyone has ever said to me:

“You CAN and you WILL. You have never said that you can’t and I’m not about to let you start now. Keep moving.”

At mile 24, my husband and children met me. My son and husband grabbed each of my hands, my daughter carried items and they all walked me across that finish line. They believed in me, when I no longer did, when I had given up on myself. That is what I want to do for YOU!

You will tell me things that I will view as “false” and I will tell you so, just as my husband told me during the marathon. However, I already believe in you. Now, I simply want to hold your hand and walk with you through this journey.

Let’s say I have encouraged you to buy the 21 Day Fix and you’ve received it…

What do you do next?

Do you…

A)   Sit down and watch it first and then psych yourself out of doing it?

B)   Plan to start it on Monday and forget?

C)   Start it on Monday and give up on Wednesday?

D)   Honestly commit to it for 21 days modifying everything you are currently unable to complete due to your weight, age or health issues?

E)   Commit to it for 21 days doing exactly every single thing it says even though you are physically not ready for certain moves and end finding yourself injured, disappointed and frustrated?

F)    Get started and run into a few issues and discuss with your coach???

G)   Successfully complete the program and feel proud of yourself?

Do you know what I would like you to do? 

I’d like you to call me when you receive your box. I’d like to talk you through it, answer some of your questions and help you prepare to fully commit yourself to the program for 21 days. I’d like you to call me, text me or message me each day after your workout and tell me how it went, how you felt, where you had struggles, ask me questions and let me help you. Most of all, I’d like you to allow me to be your friend first and then your Coach. I don’t want you to get hurt during your journey, but I will not tell you that you cannot do it. I’m sorry, my heart would shatter if I told you that, because I truly deep in my heart believe that you CAN do it. It may require baby steps, modified movements, slower moves…but you CAN if you first make the decision to TRY. If you have injuries you know what your limits are, do not ignore them.

If you want a friend or a Coach who will sugar coat things, who will tell you that you can’t do a, b, or c, and who does not believe in you – then I’m not the friend or Coach you need. I will never lie to you – I may suck at being consistent, but I will never lie to you. I won’t sugar coat things. I won’t tell you that the bagel you’re eating is a great breakfast when I believe otherwise. I won’t tell you that you cannot do something when I believe in my heart and soul that on some level you can. I am a bluntly honest person, but I will not get in your face and yell at you or tear you down. My goal is to first and foremost be your friend, to encourage you, to believe in you and to help you see just what an amazing person you truly are and how strong your body really is.

I’m going to be real with you. You will see “marketing” from me. Selling BeachBody products is how I make an income. If I do not promote them, I do not make any money. However, I will not promote products that I myself have not tried or had experience with. That doesn’t mean that I will not share with you when new items are being released or on sale, because I will. If you follow me on Instagram you will see all the hashtag craziness. If you follow my FB page – you will see all that there as well. If you are a member of my FREE ‘private’ FB group you will see it there as well.

However, I will be real with you. I will share with you how I, personally, am doing. I will share with you what my struggles are, what I’m eating, drinking, when I screw up, what exercises I’m trying to improve on and so much more. I will share this journey with you as if we are best friends.

If that is something you would like then I invite you to be my friend and join me in this journey.

Sincerely,

~Coach Tonya~

https://teambeachbody.com/signup/-/signup/free?referringRepId=691301 

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One Word:Consistency

So if you've known me for very long - then you know one of my biggest struggles is CONSISTENCY.  I do good for a few weeks, maybe even a month or so and then all the sudden my streak of CONSISTENCY seems to evaporate before my very eyes!  I wish I knew why I struggle so strongly with this, but I've no answer.  All I know to do is keep trying, each and every day.  

That seems to be the rule of thumb with just about any endeavor we set out to accomplish.  If at first you don't succeed: TRY AGAIN!  Sometimes things may be smooth sailing and others we may feel as if we are bashing our heads against a brick wall.  I pretty much feel like I'm bashing my head against a brick wall.  Sadly, that brick wall has a name and her name is: TONYA.  

Yep, you heard me.  The brick wall is me. I am my own worst enemy.  I do great and then I stop.  No rhyme or reason why, it just happens.  I believe it to be one of my most annoying traits and it must be, because it annoys me even the ME who is causing it!  Can anybody out there relate to what I am saying here?  

Recently on Facebook I've seen people posting this thing about "their word".  Now, whether they've been assigned this word by someone, themselves or God, I know not.  However, I'm taking some inspiration from them and assigning myself a word.  Have you figured out what it is yet?  Exactly...CONSISTENCY!  

I have got to learn to be CONSISTENT!  I have got to do better at this.  How can I succeed at anything if I don't?  I have 99 unfinished projects because I lack CONSISTENCY and I've several more projects planned for this year that will go incomplete without CONSISTENCY.  I need to lose some weight and get back to where I was happy.  The road to happiness is CONSISTENCY.  

I am so miserable with myself that I cannot even explain it.  I failed myself BIG TIME!  I was doing so GREAT in England and then, well I can tell you everything that happened, but honestly what it boils down to is my CONSISTENCY sunk down to the bottom of the ocean and I didn't bother to pick it back up quick enough.  

Yes, life throws us unexpected curve balls.  Yes, we lose people we love and struggle with grief.  Yes, we get depressed and lose sight of our goals.  Yes, we move some place new and lose our accountability partners.  Yes, we fall down...  The good news is: WE GET BACK UP.  

We have the CHOICE to continue to be miserable and unhappy with ourselves.  We have the CHOICE to get up and do something about it to make it better.  We have the CHOICE to TRY again and again and again for the rest of our lives.  The hang up here is, I can't make the CHOICE for you and you cannot make it for me.  We have to dig down and find the strength to put forth the effort once more and that is wholly up to each individual person, no matter how badly another may wish it for them. 

It's like having a spouse that smokes.  You want them to quit so badly because you want them to be healthier, because you don't want to lose them too early in life.  Forever isn't long enough.  You can't stop them from smoking, you can't nag it out of them, you can't wish it away...you can't do anything but pray CONSISTENTLY that they beat the addiction.  That they decide to dig down and try once more to break the habit that is slowly diminishing their quality of life.  

Now, let's talk about weight loss.  You can't wish it off.  There isn't a magic pill to take it away.  Your spouse can't nag it off of you.  You know those extra pounds are diminishing your quality of life too, right? The only person that can take it off of you is YOU and the only way you will succeed is by being CONSISTENT.  

So once again I am putting one foot in front of the other and trying to reach the goals I have for myself.  I am so unsure of my ability to be CONSISTENT that even though I'm writing this blog, I'm not going to share it yet.  I want to see just how CONSISTENT I can be first. I'm going to give it a full month before I publish each post, by then maybe I'll have a little more confidence in my ability and you as my readers will have a little confidence that there just might be something to read, hopefully it's worthy of your visit. 

I will know by the end of the year if I have succeeded with my word.  My goal is to write every other day.  That's approximately 182 posts by the year's end.  Let's see how well I do, shall we? 

A few bullet points:

• Today, I begin my journey to CONSISTENCY...again.
• Today, I started by walking 1 mile.
• Today, I started by journaling and blogging.

Coach Tonya

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